I needed this today. Something to make me laugh out loud and I stumbled on it quite by accident. I will share this crochet blog with you in moments but right now it's time for a vent: Honestly, I have had one of those wading through mud days. It's Gwyn's birthday and thanks to going to bed at 8pm last night I had done nothing to prepare to celebrate. His gifts I ordered online have not arrived, I never got round to making the card and baking a cake? Completely beyond me. I had hit a wall. Following 4 interruptions thanks to George and Ruby and a wet bed and some pretty crazy dreams about the end. of. the. world * it was me who got the lie in this morning, not Gwyn. I am a bad bad girlfriend.
Anyway I've been chasing my tail all day as it were. Ruby and I made fairy cakes this morning, some for Molly and some for Gwyn and I am now in the middle of the big cake. The kitchen looks like a bomb has gone off in it and to top it all my darling girl, banished to bed without being allowed to play with her playmobil after some bad behaviour just poo'd all over her carpet whilst I fed her brother to sleep. And let me tell you.... she must have a bad tummy.
'I am so sorry mummy'
Sorry??????? I don't need this s*** - LITERALLY.
However in the event I have a similar day I shall visit what not to crochet a brilliant blog in tribute to all those AWFUL CROCHET PATTERNS that are sadly quite frequent. Of the same ilk as cake wrecks which is also quite brilliant and also extremely funny I would recommend you visit and lament at some of the awful awful designs out there.
I did initally feel sorry for the poor designers who feature on this blog and thought about all the time and effort it takes to create crafting work. But then look at that top. Look at that hood. Just look at them. Or look away. I would not blame you.
There is just no excuse!
*My dream: every now and then the world in my dream would shake and a hole in the ground would vacuum up everyone who hadn't learnt to levitate. Oh! And everyone would shout 'tilt and slide' as it happened. Just to be clear, on all those occasions in the dream I was levitating above the country side and with various people from my past, old school friends, work colleagues etc... and total strangers. A meditation on enlightenment? I don't know but it wasn't very relaxing and even stranger there were tourists buying magnets in the dream. A meditation on conspicuous consumption flying in the face of mortality? Did I mention I was friends will Prince William and Kate Middleton in this. What can it mean? Who knows. I don't think I care to know. I hope I sleep better tonight.